1) Your cat will glance at you as you come through the door. If he’s in. He doesn’t care where you’ve been as long as you went to get something for him, but you’d better not even try to go out again. And what have you bought him?

2) When the cat saunters over with a particularly superior look on his face and slowly climbs onto your knee, he wants some attention. Make the most of it. If you don’t please him the claws will appear.

3) The cat will sit in front of you and stare, Woe betide you if you don’t know what he wants. He might walk into the kitchen, then walk back to see why you are not following him. Don’t make him do it again. Food in dish, now. And it better be a new and expensive treat.

4) A cat flap is essential for all cats. They won’t wait to be ‘allowed’ to do anything. It is a benefit that they don’t need ‘walkies’, but where they’ll be if you want them for anything however is anyone’s guess. Especially if they’re due at the vets. It’s like they sense such things.

5) You might buy presents for your cat, but how much they are appreciated is debatable. They ‘might’ look at it. If they bring one for you it must have your full attention. How many pieces it could be in and how alive it arrives could differ day by day.

6) It is wise to remember that cats in general do not like long strokes down their backs. Unlike dogs, enough is enough. If you forget, you could end up with a long scratch down the offending hand.

7) Feeding your cat could be an amusement. For him. Never expect him to eat the same thing more than once. Whatever he loved yesterday might not even get a glance today. It’s likely to be one of his many ways to keep you in your place. Never think he’ll eat it when he’s hungry enough. He won’t. He’ll eat at one of the neighbours.

8) If your cat holds its tail high in the air, he is feeling sociable and confident. He may however just be making sure you know how superior he is and how lucky you are that he is sticking around.

9) Cats don’t use as many facial expressions as dogs so you are unlikely to judge what’s on his mind. This could just as easily be his way of asking, ‘what the hell has it got to do with you?

10) The Cat is sat licking his claws without a care in the world when you come in. You might not have noticed what he has done yet. Of course, he hasn’t done anything. He probably is the culprit for whatever chaos you will soon spot, but he never does anything wrong.