TEN THINGS A DOG THINKS ABOUT
1) Wonder why they keep putting the lid down on the big water bowl?
2) Why do they insist on rubbing my nose in it? I know what it is. It’s mine!
3) I’ll never understand humans. They tell me off for licking my butt, so I wipe it on the floor instead. And are they happy?
4) He only tells me to stop doing that, because he can’t, and he’s jealous.
5) Oh Boy! Another smell!
6) I am a dog, so I am expected to bark, a lot. Especially in the dead of night. It makes my owners feel protected.
7) I sure wish I could stop falling for the ‘pretend to throw the ball’ ruse.
8) Must squeeze out one more pee to finish marking my boundaries.
9) When you chase a cat, it’s probably as well not to try too hard to actually catch it.
10) I’m a Good Boy! My life is complete!
TEN THINGS A CAT THINKS ABOUT
1) Before I decide to live here for a while, do you know how to use a tin opener?
2) Why put a stupid bell around my neck if you aren’t going to come running to see what I want when I ring it?
3) Why do kids have to keep trying to test the ‘always lands on four paws’ theory?
4) What are people I don’t know doing in my house?
5) Do humans really think that they achieve anything by waving their hands about and making strange noises with their mouths?
6) Dogs serve humans, humans serve cats, so why do we have all these dog problems then?
7) I’ll never understand why cats stopped being worshipped as Gods. Those Ancients sure had the right idea.
8) Gosh I’m starving, but I’d better wait a bit longer before I go to look what’s in my dish. I don’t want them getting too confident.
9) I know that it can’t be easy to be one of an inferior species, but oh boy, dogs and humans are sooooo gullible.
10) If we were not here to be served, humans would have no real purpose in their lives.